we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
