Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
