I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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