All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
