Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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