the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
