You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
