why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize