Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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