Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize