Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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