Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
