So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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