What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
