I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I believe in your delicious
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
