): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
