It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
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