So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
