This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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