TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
