I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize