she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
