is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize