Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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