Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
