oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
you inspire me to be a worse person
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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