Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
