I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize