I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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