We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
