Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
