I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
