We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize