I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
