it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
