I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
