oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize