So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
