You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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