garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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