I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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