I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
