we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
