Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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