I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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