You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
