She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
