Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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