Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
