My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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