I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
