yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
