Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Mom said you looked used
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
