I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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