Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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