just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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